Earlier this year I saw Barfi! a couple of times, and realised that its screenplay was missing a crucial component: someone had to mouth the ultimate dialogue: जाते जाते बर्फी हमें जीना सिखा गया…
Barfi’s writing just misses one dialogue: jaate jaate barfi humein jeena sikha gaya
— Amit Sharma (@hypnosh) September 20, 2012
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Alas, Anurag Basu and his writers are not as talented as I, never mind the Oscars.
But then I saw English Vinglish twice, and realised that the writers in Bollywood need my help more than ever now!
So, here’s the ending I think would have fit EV much better than the snowfight with her kid (yawn!). It just fell short of being true inspiration by this one montage that I tell you now:
- Shashi returned ‘back’ to India and opened her own English coaching center in Pune for housewives. (The camera pans to reveal the board of the coaching center: Enगlish Vingliश). Her husband and daughter teach at her institute part-time.
- Ramamurthy got promoted to the post of CEO in his organisation in 5 years.
- Salman Khan got a job as a store manager at Bloomingdales, and married the only daughter of a famous MP in Pakistan.
- Yu Son opened her own chain of hair salons across the USA.
- Eva became the leader of the local nanny association, and later contested the elections and became a Senator.
- Udumbke & David are happily married now, and they have a baby daughter.
- Laurent has his own restaurant on Times Square where the showstopper dishes are named Lasoon Bisque and Crêpe Laddoo.
Of course all of the above will appear as super-text over montages of these people in their happy moments.
Now waiting for my phone to ring – I should get a call from YRF soon to help them make JTHJ better and not repeat these mistakes ‘again’.