Category: WTF

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Internet Product What's wrong? WTF

Smart Web – How Smart?

While reading this Rediff.com story about Maruti Madhavrao Phad, a Maharashtra government employee who got injured during the recent terrorist attack on Bombay, I noticed something.

It is not related to the story as such. If you scroll down to the end of the story you’ll see the credits for is particular story. It reads “Image: Maruti [Get Quote] Madhavrao Phad at his home. Text: A Ganesh [Images] Nadar. Photograph: Uttam Ghosh”


See the screenshot of the line. Notice the yellow areas? These are smart tags which apparently the engine parsing the code of the pages inserts to “enrich” the user’s browsing experience, by providing additional information related to the content the user is browsing through at the moment.

Note the word “related”? Now see what the yellow highlights in the image show. “Get Quote” for Maruti. Here Maruti is the first name of the hero of the story, not the name of a car-making company. Yet, the Rediff engine treats it as the company’s name, and is offering you stock quotes for it. And for Ganesh, the link is a Rediff search link with the string “Ganesh” – marked “Images”. Which means that it would return images of the Lord Ganesha, and other celebrities called “Ganesh”. Not images of the author of the article in this case, A Ganesh Nadar.

And both these tags are intrusive, they not only break the text they are placed in, they break proper names of people. Intrusive and irreverent. Considering the tone of the article, even more so.

Were they really necessary?

Categories
What's wrong? WTF

Vehicle versus Person

The Constitution of India gives me the right to travel, stay and seek employment anywhere within India. But apparently my vehicle cannot be taken along with me, without paying through my nose for “fines”, “bribes”, “repeat taxes”, without going through hordes of paper work, police checks, queues.

Maybe if humans also had to compulsorily display a number plate which predominantly identified them with the state they come from, I would also be not allowed to enter places like Maharashtra. The Nation’s Constitution can take a hike when it’s Maha-Rashtra (Great Nation) talking about.

Categories
Business What's wrong? WTF

You won’t sell to me?

The other day I went to a medicine shop and asked for a medicine from a prescription. The pack of 10 costs four-fifty. I open the wallet and find that the smallest paper currency I have is a fifty. The second smallest? Five hundred! And the loose change all totalled up to two rupees fifty.

I gave an apologetic sigh and offered the shopkeeper the fifty hoping that he’d give me change. With a stern look the shopkeeper took back the medicines from my hand, gave me a hand signal denoting refusal and put the medicine back in the shelf, without saying a word. I asked him why. And he says “We won’t entertain this”. That’s all.

I walk over to the next shop, which was like two blocks away, enter it. The guy looks friendly. I thought let’s take a chance. So I asked him for the medicine, and while he’s taking it out of the shelf, I casually ask “You have change for fifty, don’t you?”. He looks back at me, and politely says “No”, keeping the medicine back in the shelf.

So I ask him, “You are a shop. How come you don’t have change?” to which his response is “If you can’t produce change for 4.50, how do you expect us to keep change for 45.50?”

So is having a bigger note worthless if you’re buying a small item? I know that if you offer a pan-wallah a thousand rupee note for a five rupee cigarette it’s absurd, but this is not a difference of 995 we’re talking about or a small pan-wallah. Both shops were decent-sized medicine shops, which I’ve grown up seeing and buying from. What is the reason for their refusal? Is short change really short in the market? Is day-to-day liquidity so low that people are clinging on to any short change they have and are refusing business? Or is it just a stand they have taken that they will not entertain business which makes them do this ‘heavy work’ of counting and returning change?

What use is a bigger currency note if I cannot buy small things with it? I had over a thousand rupees with me right then, but I could not buy medicines worth less than ten rupees.

If there is a liquidity problem, then it is worrying. But if the problem is in the mindsets of the store owners, then it is ridiculous. If they are facing a real short change problem, I think they should offer other channels of payment. Accept credit/debit/charge cards, accept cheques.

Why lose business over this issue, and why dishonour a customer even when he has more money than needed for the transaction?

Categories
Branding & Advertising What's wrong? WTF

Who?

For the last six months, I have been seeing TV spots by this one advertiser: V-Guard, who claims that this is a name you can trust.

Pretty tall claim for someone about whom I don’t know anything – not what they make, not what they sell, not where they are from, not who the chairman/CEO is, not even an idea of the broad sector or field they are in. Since their ads have been on TV, they have not talked about any of these things once. All I see is “V-Guard: the name you can trust”. Yeah, you wish.

Pretty clumsy way to be bit by the “build the brand, not sell the product” bug.

Categories
News WTF

Blah blah?

You’ve seen the Headlines Today ‘blah’ ad, right? The one where they imitate other news channel shows with the people saying “blah blah…” ad inifinitum, implying that other ‘typical’ news channels of the day are doing nothing but blabbering on about nothing in particular, and then that Headlines Today is the refreshing channel which does not give you blah but substance?

Now can you tell me the number one blah news item of the season? Ofcourse it’s the mighty WWE warrior Khali! World’s envy India’s pride, if I may borrow the line from Onida.

So what was the self-proclaimed blah-free channel doing, showing us a story about how Khali gave some Indian gifts to his opponent The Big Show, had dancers doing Bhangra in the ring and all that jazz to become friends with his opponent, and then how The Big Show hit him instead of being friendly, and then how Khali fell down senseless after just one blow?

Now what was the poor white man supposed to do in a wrestling ring? Hug his opponent and call off the fight, because they have become best buddies?

But I’m digressing. The real question is, if you want your target audience to believe your claim that you are a non-blah channel, then why is a blah item featuring on your waves?

Categories
News WTF

Job Reservations for Locals? WTF?

Ok, so I am irreligious and apolitical. Which means that I have strong opinions against religions and their infights, and political ideologies and their mutual discrepancies. And though I am fairly vocal about the former online, I seldom write about the latter. Today I shall. This post is about political events, but please remember that my stand is not political at all.

While talking to friends during tea today, I heard about this news item (forgive me for not being a newspaper or news-in-general addict). Have you read what it says? Okay then.

When these leaders were saying that immigrants to Mumbai should not be allowed in any more because the infrastructure cannot bear the load of any more people, it was still making a little bit of sense. But reservations for localites? Are we really going back to Nazi ideals, the democratic-loophole way?

I remember a few weeks back Mr. Raj Thackeray had issued a statement that the other political leaders were not concerned with Biharis being killed in the North-East, because they are only concerned about money-pur (Mumbai) – the city of riches. The whole thing is wrong on so many levels – one is that just because people of a certain ethnicity are being harassed in some other part of the world gives anyone NO RIGHT to do the same to people of that ethnicity here. And then point to that other area and say “if you guys aren’t bothered with what’s happening there, why bother with what we’re doing to you?”. In what way are the MNS people better off than the terrorists of the North-East then?

The leaders of this ideology want to pressurize companies in to placing region-based reservation on jobs. Are you out of your mind sir? You’re asking private companies to place reservations based on region, when they have not agreed to reservation based on caste & religion?

The funny thing I noticed is that the Thackerays have issues only with the working class and some celebrities. They do not seem to have trouble with the Ambanis, who are not Marathis. They do not have trouble with the Mumbai offices of the MNCs, whose executives are not even Indians, let alone Marathis. Are they against IAS, IPS and IFS posted in Maharashtra belonging to Bihar & UP as well? They do not have problems with Infosys offices (the Bangalore giant; is Mr. Narayan Murthy a Marathi maanus?). Are they not selectively targetting the money-less populace? The powerless junta? And in case of the celebrities, the people whose fame is not directly giving riches or employment to the localites?

Is not the MNS and Thackeray crusade against non-Marathis also biased, coloured and influenced by matters of money?

If Mumbai is being overburdened by the people moving in, why single out the people from Bihar & UP alone? Why not also ask the Tamilians, the Kannadigas, the Bengalis, the Punjabis, the Gujaratis, the Marwaris to stay out as well? More importantly, why not ask the Maharashtrians whose village is not in Mumbai itself stay out and stay in their own villages? If Bihar should develop a city like Mumbai, then shouldn’t east Maharashtra develop another city like Mumbai also so that the natives of that area do not have to emigrate westward and burden the city? Is Mumbai being burdened selectively only because of people of a certain ethnicity, and not by the thousands of non-Mumbaikar Maharashtrians moving in every day? Oh, they ‘own’ the city, is it? Since when has a state’s borders become more important than our country’s? Does the Constitution not give every citizen the right to move, stay, work in any part of the country as he or she deems fit, and that no one has the right to prevent him or her from doing so?

And if you agree with me that in case of Mumbai being overburdened, even Maharashtrians from outside Mumbai should be prevented from coming in and those not belonging to Mumbai should be asked to leave, can anyone tell me which is the native village of the Thackerays? Is it Mumbai? 🙂 After all, if it’s ethnic cleansing you’re after, why demarcate at state-level? Why not take it to district or village level? 🙂

Whew! With that off my chest, I can go back to my non-politics related blogs. Thank you for reading. Would love to see your opinions.

Oh and in case you are curious. I am a born Calcuttan (yes, I love the names Calcutta, Madras, Bombay, Poona, Bangalore, and am of the firm opinion that the name of a place carries history, and its dwellers’ memories along with it and should not be tampered for whims of politicians and regional fundamentalism, no matter what our politicians think), with family roots in Bihar. I do not go to my native place in Bihar anymore, because I do not find any reason to go there – almost all my family is in Calcutta & Bombay, and I do not find any reason to feel ashamed of either my connection with Bihar or the fact that the connection isn’t strong enough anymore. I love Calcutta.I love Bombay. I have loved Delhi and I’m loving Poona. I am loving my experience of learning the local language and the funny situations that I get into when trying to speak Marathi with the locals. And I find that the people of Bombay and Poona are lovely and quite welcoming towards us “non-Marathis”, just like the Bengalis are friendly and warm towards us “non-Bengalis”. I don’t see any reason the politicians should be allowed to take us, the people of India for a ride over such downright petty issues and cause turmoil amongst us.

Categories
WTF

Questions – Got Any Answers?

Number one in my question list right now is

Why do rickshaw-wallahs in Pune always not find any customer on the way back from where you want them to take you? Why do they always want a 10rupee or 20rupee or half-return extra on the meter? Why do they always begin with a flat rate instead of turning the meter on? Why don’t the authorities increase the meter rate if the current rate is not feasible for the survival of the poor rickshaw-wallahs?

I’m sure the other things happen in almost all cities in India, but do all rickshaw-wallahs in all cities of India ask for a half-return or a markup on the meter on the pretext of “I won’t get a passenger on the way back” at 11 in the morning?

Categories
News WTF

Proof, courtesy Indian television

Read the headline on the next frame. Can you believe it? Yes, India TV has found that the legendary Sudarshan Chakra of Lord Vishnu is not a myth but is a reality.

6 crore saal pahle aaya dharti par: came on the earth 60 million years ago

How does the channel get to this conclusion? By getting a piece of news that paleontologists have found a head of a crocodile which lived around 60 million years ago, and was killed by a sharp object which severed the head from the body. Ofcourse this could not have happened other than the mighty Vishnu killing it himself, according to a fable (The one where the said crocodile catches hold of an elephant, who happens to be Vishnu’s devotee. The elephant, seeing inevitable death, cries out his Lord’s name, and Vishnu comes running barefoot to save his devotee, and to achieve this end, uses his Sudarshan Chakra to cut off the crocodile’s head).

The deeply religious folks at India TV saw this as proof that the fable actually happened.

sach hai sudarshan chakra! brazil me mile avsheshh: the Sudarshan Chakra is a reality! the fossils were found in Brazil Even though the head was found in Brazil, while Vishnu is an Indian deity.

pandit Ajay Gautam, vedon ke jaankar: expert on Vedas
Who is the expert they are consulting here? A certain Pandit Ajay Gautam, who is apparently an expert on the Vedas.

No, they don’t feel the need to consult, interview or publish words of the team who is supposed to have been involved in this excavation and is responsible for this discovery. Not their opinions, not their clarifications, not what they derive from this, not what impact this discovery could have on their field. And no, they did not flash or tell us the names, identities or even nationalities of the scientists involved in this.
ab mile saboot, Proof found now
The story carried no identifiers using which we could search for more information on this excavation. Only low quality video footage of some people holding a crocodile head’s bone structure. And repeat “flashing news” snippets that the mighty Sudarshan Chakra has been now proven to exist. All with ‘expert comments’ from Panditji who is an expert on Vedas, not paleontology, carbon dating or archeology.

sach hai sudarshan chakra!: the sudarshan chakra is a reality!
So dear friends, if you are an atheist, start repenting now, and if you are an agnostic, don’t be one – here’s proof. Courtesy Indian news television 🙂

Categories
Internet News Product What's wrong? WTF

Please provide a what???

A Calcuttan missing his hometown opens up the website belonging to the most read newspaper in that town. Pleased with what he saw, he clicked on one of the sections of the e-paper. The site tells him that he needs to be registered in order to go deeper into the contents. No problem. He is ready to register. So he clicks on register and fills up a form. Presses Submit. And see what he gets:

Email ID? The form does not mention email ID anywhere, let alone ask for it. Oh, the error page tells him that the “Username” field should have been populated with his email ID.

Who would have thought? 🙂

If you were that person, would you fill up that form again and continue to use the website? I didn’t. Who knows what other ‘mistake’ I would be chided for next? Is the phone number field actually supposed to contain my height?

Is it so difficult for web designers and companies that hire them to make websites that are free of inconsistencies and are helpful instead of carrying the old ’80-90s attitude of “I made this thing and it works at my end. You need to learn how to make it work for you if you want to use it.”?

It is all adding up to the user experience and thus the brand in the end.

Categories
News WTF

BPO Apartheid

In a move that seems ill-timed given Raj Thakre’s Neo-Nazi-esque actions in Maharashtra, Netambit in Noida invited applications for positions in its BPO business, but candidates belonging to UP, Bihar and Islamic backgrounds need not apply. The reason cited for this is diction and other language problems candidates with these backgrounds generally have.

Why don’t you take a look at the email that sparked this controversy over ‘language’?

The picture is taken on a low-end phonecam. The highlighted line reads: “Those candidate belong to Bihar & U.P. & Muslim are not eligible. Required English/Hindi/Punjabi profiles.” The words within the quotes are verbatim as they appear in the email / the news item.

(The main story and photograph courtesy evening Delhi paper MetroNow 4th March edition.)