Month: August 2013

Categories
Technology

8 Ways to Use Your Old Smartphone

So you got yourself a new octa-core smartphone. And you’re feeling kind of weird putting your old trusted Android phone in the cupboard, because you won’t be using it. Because, you know, you’re sentimental about the phone you used to have so much fun with.

Well, you can still use it. Not as a phone maybe, but as the powerful computer that it always has been.

Here are a few ways you can use it in:
1. Make a wireless music receiver connected to your sound system
If you have a dumb sound system (dumb as in no smart microprocessors, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi etc., in it. A simple analog sound system with aux input) at home, you can hook up your smartphone to it (make sure to connect a charger to it so it doesn’t just run out of juice), and use it as a wireless music receiver & player. You can stream your music to it through iTunes on your computer, your Wi-Fi enabled iPod/music player, or your iPhone.
AirPlayer works wonderfully well for me.

2. Run a PHP/mySQL/nginx server
And run a website off it. Maybe even install WordPress!
NAMP nginx android web server

2. Make a SMB/FTP/web/proxy/server
To share files in your home network, and/or operate a firewall.
Servers Ultimate

3. Download torrents
Take the load off your laptop, and put it on the handset that lies at home all day. The only thing you need to do is get a huge memory card, or find out a way to connect an external storage to it (through USB-OTG).
µTorrent® Beta

4. Sync your iTunes playlists with it, and use it like an MP3 player
You can take off the media player functionality off your main phone, and use your old phone instead, thus ensuring you never lose connectivity because you ran out of battery because you listened to too much music.
iSyncr Lite for iTunes – Mac
iSyncr Lite for iTunes – PC

5. Access your website via FTP and edit the files there
Why not? Well, you can do this with your primary Android phone as well.
AndFTP (your FTP client)

6. Use it as a computer by adding a keyboard, mouse, monitor and storage to it
I’ve always wondered if we can do this. The Motorola Atrix was one handset which let us do it. The Ubuntu phone OS has a flavour which lets you use the phone as the computer when you dock it with desktop peripherals. If you have a Nexus One lying around (like I do), this is worth a shot.
Nexus One USB Host Mode Driver

7. Fix it in your car’s dashboard, and use it as a GPS navigator
Google Maps is one of the best navigation systems out there. And now it does turn-by-turn voice navigation as well. Some people have tried fixing their Android tablets into their car dashboards. I say if you have an old phone lying around, you can use that as well. The screens are decently big, and all you’d need is a SIM card with a data connection on it.
Google Maps

8. Use it as an ebook, articles & feed reader
Like with #4, using your old handset as a reader frees up your primary handset’s battery. And no more screens vanishing when a call comes, and no more getting out of the reader when you hear a message beep.
Amazon Kindle Reader
Google Play Books
Feedly Reader

Categories
Hindi My Fiction

मच्छर, जैसे समाज है

जैसे आप अपनी ज़िंदगी जी रहे होते हैं, और भरसक कोशिश करते हैं, कि जो जीवन में करणीय है वह करते रहें, वैसे ही सोने की कोशिश कर रहा हूँ, क्योंकि अब रात का समय है, सोना चाहिये।

और जैसे आम ज़िंदगी में ‘समाज’ कभी कान के पास भिनभिनाता कर तंग करता है, कभी इधर, कभी उधर दंश मारकर उड़ जाता है, और मोटे तौर पर हमारा ख़ून चूसता है, ये बेचारे मच्छर भी वही करते हैं।

और जैसे ‘समाज’ कोई एक इंसान नहीं होता, एक बेनाम, faceless mass होता है, मच्छर की भी individual पहचान कहाँ होती है? उन्हें भी हम बस मच्छर ही कहते हैं, मसलन ‘मच्छर ने काटा’, जैसे ‘लोग कह रहे थे’।

आजतक हमें कोई ये समझा नहीं पाया कि भगवान ने मच्छर बनाये क्यों. हमारा faceless वाला समाज क्यों exist करता है, ये बात भी कभी पल्ले नहीं पड़ी.

और जैसे ज़िंदगी में आप समाज को नज़रअंदाज़ करने की भरसक चेष्टा करते हैं, लेकिन समाज पूरी बेशर्मी के साथ लगा हुआ होता है, खून चूसने, कान के आसपास भिनभिनाने, और आपको मोटे तौर पर तंग करने में, वैसे ही मैंने खूब चेष्टा की, कि नींद के साथ पूरी दोस्ती करूँ, मच्छरों को नज़रअंदाज़ करूँ, पर ये कमबख़्त डटे हुए हैं, जहाँ-तहाँ काटते हुए, इस बात का पूरा इंतज़ाम करते हुए, कि मैं और भले कुछ कर लूँ, पर सो न पाऊँ, और सुबह ऐसे कहूँ, कि ‘यार मच्छरों ने सोने नहीं दिया’, जैसे अक्सर कहा जाता है, ‘समाज के सामने मुँह दिखाने लायक तो रहना चाहिये (यानि अपनी न करो, सबकी करो)’।

और जैसे हम ज़िदगी में ज़रूरी चीज़ें बाजू में रखकर समाज का क्रिटीक लिखने बैठ जाते हैं, वैसे ही मैं भी मच्छर के दंश की पीड़ावश सोना भूलकर ये अनाप-शनाप लिखने बैठ गया हूँ।

Disclaimer: मच्छर-गण क्षमा करें, आपकी ‘लोगों’ से तुलना कर दी है। आधी नींद में ऐसा ही कुछ लिख पाता हूँ। इसकी ज़िम्मेदारी आप ही की है। और जैसे समाज को कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि आप उनके बारे में क्या सोचते-बोलते हैं, वैसे ही मुझे भरोसा है मच्छर भी मेरा लिखा कुछ नहीं पढ़ेंगे।

(Image courtesy: www.noeticart.com)

Categories
Travel

Litti-Choka in Andheri

What does a litti-lover do after moving to Bombay Mumbai? Especially after being a regular visitor to the Litti shop in Kothrud, Pune for 3 years, and feeling nostalgic about it (also nostalgic about the litti shops in Bihar/Jharkhan railway stations)?

Set out on a mission to find an outlet over here.

The efforts paid off handsomely. And I’ve found two places which offer amazing litti-chokha in Andheri itself. And my friends on Twitter have already sampled their fare and made them quasi-famous amongst their friends.

1. The first is a bunch of shops on the R K Paramhans Marg (old Nagardas Road) near the Andheri subway on the east. When you cross the subway and keep going on the newly made left side of the road, you come across a series of garages and tyre shops. And small eateries. Last I checked, at least two of these eateries also serve litti-chokha in the evening. I’ve eaten in Mahalaxmi (their signboard is no more there thanks to the weather) which is right next to the Exide shop, and must say that their bharta was out of this world. The other outlet is called Saipraasaad, which is 3-4 shops away towards the subway.
[googlemaps https://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=rk+paramhans+marg&aq=&sll=19.120889,72.867383&sspn=0.097639,0.154324&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=RK+Paramhans+Rd,+Mumbai,+Mumbai+Suburban,+Maharashtra,+India&ll=19.124234,72.848057&spn=0.006102,0.009645&t=m&z=14&iwloc=A&output=embed&w=425&h=350]

23rd May 2014 Update: Litti Express has shut down. They have reopened as Food Temple. But are we interested in that?
2. The other is near Lokhandwala in Andheri West. In the lane next to the Lotus petrol pump (diagonally opposite to the Versova Cinemax), there’s a shop by the name Litti Express. The exact address is shop No. 979, New Link Road, Near Lotus Petrol Pump, Andheri West. The portions are small compared to the Andheri east shops, but it still tastes brilliant nevertheless. They do home delivery as well if you’re nearby and lucky (that is, they have enough delivery boys working that day), just call 022 2674 1460, or 98 69 284115.
[googlemaps https://maps.google.co.in/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF8&q=Litti+Express&fb=1&gl=in&hq=litti+express&hnear=0x3be7c6306644edc1:0x5da4ed8f8d648c69,Mumbai,+Maharashtra&cid=16696690645242659387&t=m&iwloc=A&ll=19.142655,72.831632&spn=0.006295,0.006295&output=embed&w=425&h=350]

Categories
Humour My Fiction Society

Marry a Girl of Your Caste

Inspired by the series of blogposts/articles which are titled “Date a girl who…”. Reading all these beautiful articles I thought there ought to be one that rings closer home, to the average Indian chap’s life. And I also tweeted about it a few days back. So here it is.
–

Marry a girl of your your parents’ caste.

What is caste you asked? What are you? An Englishman? A hippie? An eskimo? Only foreigners don’t worry about caste. They don’t even have caste. Arrey they don’t even have culture, how will they have caste?

You know how glorious our culture is, right? Haven’t you seen the forward which tells you how many Indians work at Microsoft, and how we gave the world the zero, and how we have never invaded anyone ever? Do you want me to invade my foot into your ass?

No, no, no. Won’t do if you choose an Indian girl also, if she is not of same caste. Caste is important. Because culture is important. No, you can’t marry a Madrasi girl. We can’t even understand their language, how she will understand your culture? Yes, her parents are right in not letting her marry you. We hate them. But we also agree with them. And no, a Gujarati/Marathi/Punjabi girl won’t do either. And none of those fish-eating Bengali girls!

What? Girl from our state? What is her caste? What is the gotra? No no no, different gotra won’t do. We don’t even touch water they drink. Oh, they said they don’t touch water we drink? They maybe right, as long as what they imply is what we imply.

Tell me this: what will happen when you have children? What caste would they belong to? What will their identity be? Your name? That’s hardly identity. Indians? Ha ha ha. One Indian in one billion Indians. What an identity! No, no, caste identity must be preserved!

And why are we discussing all these girls anyway? It is not your job to look for the girl you would spend the rest of your life with! It is the job of your parents, their relatives, distant relatives, cousins of aunts of sister-in-laws, matrimony portal wallahs, pundits, matchmakers, neighbours, dhobis (washermen), naais (barbers)… anyone but you. You may think you know what you want. But that is not the same as what is good for you. You understand? It’s like the time you wanted to eat chocolate ice-cream, but we knew that two-in-one was good for you. Remember? Did you fall sick that time? No na! So you agree that what you want is not what is good for you. These people who have no idea about who you are, can select better girl for you, because they are not blinded by your prejudices and tastes. They will find a girl who is right for you, because she belongs to your your parents’ caste, and is homely. That is important. It’s not like you want to have a conversation with her about Murakami or jazz. Why would anyone have a conversation with his wife about anything but the price of potatoes and what time to leave for the neighbour’s daughter’s engagement party? You want your wife to revolt?

Sports? What you want to send her to play for India, or what? You know what happens to husbands whose wives become more famous? Husbands should always have more power, more smartness, and more fame than their wives. Because wives’ minds become unruly when they get more power. You want her to take decisions in your life? What is this nonsense about education, exposure, job? You know what they call men who let their wives work? Modern. Do you want to be called that?

What? No no, don’t give me all this hocus-pocus about film stories. That is film. This is life. You are not Dilip Kumar, nor are you Salman Khan. And don’t expect your parents to behave like Nirupa Rai and Nazir Hussain ok? Saying “jismein tum khush raho usi mein humaari khushi hai“, or “aajkal woh zamaana toh raha nahi, ki bacche maa-baap ki pasand se shaadi karein“. All this nonsense is against our culture. Don’t you know our culture is coming back? And these films are spoiling our culture. So don’t expect all this filmy dialoguebaazi ok? Expect your parents to ask what the caste of the girl is. And expect them to act hurt when you say you don’t care about caste. Who are you to not care about your caste?

And, do you know caste is scientific? In the Vedic times it was based on the profession of the person. What? This girl works in your department in office? No, no. That was Vedic times. Today caste is based on what caste your parents belong to, don’t you know? Now if the system was so good thousands of years ago, it is good today also. As we want to impose it on you. You want to oppose something scientific?

Ok stop all that discussion. Look, this nice homely same-caste girl is also adept at making round-round rotis. And she has never lived away from her parents. Don’t you know what that means? wink wink. And look, her bio-data says she likes embroidery! Don’t you want those lettered handkerchiefs to show off when you go to office?

–
Disclaimer: Total work of fiction, I swear! No Queens of England were harmed during writing of this post. All similarities to people or incidents or communities totally unintentional.

Categories
Photography

The 16-step Quick Guide to Becoming a Photographer!

This is a list I started writing a few years ago. Finally I realised that “ship it” is the best policy in such posts. So here goes. Last few points added today itself. To keep the post up-to-date. You’re welcome to add more in the comments.

  1. Step 1: Buy a camera.
    SLR. Instant professional!
    If not an SLR, then any prosumer bridge. Because it’s so good (read smart purchase), who needs an SLR?
    If not these, then a Point & Shoot. Instant road to underprivileged artist-dom.
    If not a P&S, then use your mobile phone. Ditto.
  2. Post all your pictures, either never opened in any software at all, or post-processed with heavy Warhol-like effects, or heavy faux HDR effects, into an album called ‘random’, ‘the world thru ma eyez’, ‘ma work’.
  3. Big copyright marks are a must. Your name, logo or URL should be very small. The © should be taking up the maximum area. How else would the image thief know that he should not ©opy it?
  4. Thick borders. Extra points for double borders. Bonus points for a thick white border around the black border. Anything to make it look like an old-style wood-framed picture.
  5. And the image title, and your copyright mark just outside the frame, in Comic Sans Papyrus Monotype Corsiva.
  6. Visit all major online photography forums, and create a new discussion thread entitled ‘Please take a look’. You lose points if you give away what kind of photography you are showcasing.
  7. Post a link to your entire album(s). Make sure the album(s) do not adhere to any one or two genres. They must contain everything from a street dog, to a barber in his shop, to a closeup macro of a petunia, to a lit cigarette.
  8. Don’t ask for feedback on any particular picture. Superspecialization is for insects, remember?
  9. Ask them to ‘go thru your work’ and give feedback (read ‘appreciate my inborn talent to the moon’).
  10. If you’ve ‘snapped’ your ‘work’ using a mobile phone camera, mention that with an apology, expecting sympathetic comments. After all, poor you are fighting all those rich mofos with expensive SLRs and still clicking such ‘ossum work’. Two more points on your report card for showcasing poverty.
  11. But the moment someone offers a suggestion get defensive. Your work is ‘ossum’ by itself. You don’t need to improve. Or get a better camera or lens. It’s the world that needs to wrap its heads around your talent. Because you’re ‘ossum’. Your college friends said it.
  12. Either describe the ‘thot’ behind the picture in a paragraph that’s longer than War & Peace, or don’t say anything. Let the viewer wonder if it’s a single shoe flowing in the river or a crow. Because either you want the viewer to appreciate all the thoughts you made up when you sat down to look through the pictures and found this half-decent shot, or your art must be that brilliant that it defies explanation.
  13. Mobile phones > SLR. Anyday.
  14. Emulate the French photographers from 50 years ago with Leicas. Using your smartphone. Same size, almost. Same weight, almost. And there are apps that can make your pics look like they’re 50 years old.
  15. Hipstamatic! Instagram!
  16. Filters! Filters!! Some more Filters!!!
Categories
Landscape Photography Nature Photography Photography Travel Travel Photography

Waiting for the Wind

500px.com/photo/42588206
Backwaters, Kerala, 2011.

Categories
Landscape Photography Photography Travel Travel Photography Wallpapers

August 2013: Himalayas

500px.com/photo/42013098

After riding on wide straight highways from Chandigarh for hours, we finally reached the base of the Himalayas, twisting roads, beautiful mountains around us, and stopped for a break. To chit-chat, stretch ourselves, and take in the immensity of the beauty around us.